FROM CANCER TO HIV TO ME

One of my good friends who considers me her (she is actually a he) best friend moved to Dallas with her boyfriend to get away from their peer pressure and easilly tempting surroundings. Unfortunately, they broke up a couple days ago after nearly two years (my friend has many forms of cancer) and as she walked away from her he told her he hoped she would die quickly. That was him just being plan hateful.

I have told her repeatidly to ignore him and be angry with him for everything. She has given up a lot for this man (which should of been her red lights) and stood by him and made him care for life more so then he did.

Today I received a call from my friend and she said she found out he was HIV positive all this time and he had not told her anything. She told him how she'd asked him more than once and he'd responded that he was negative and he claimed that never happened. This is the same guy who found out a mutual friend of ours was possibly positive and said he wanted his toothbrush out of the restroom to avoid the mutual friend from using his toothbrush and getting him infected. WTF?

Its a crazy world we live in and things can get worse and crazier if you do not look out for yourself. You can help others and so on but its so very important to never put yourself in any kind of jeopardy especially if you know something is wrong.

All I can do is remain a positive attitude towards my friend and hope for the best. She has had a lot more wrong with her lately with the different cancers ravaging her body. I know some day she might not be here ever and that really upsets me. I've known her since I came out practically. Even though she has put me in a lot of bad situations and screwed me over a couple times I'm still a human being who has a huge heart. All we can do is pray and see. Sorry for the morbid entry but enjoy and cherish every day that you have with the people around you who matter and your own life.

MR BLOCKBUSTER

I must have over 500 dvds at home. I'm what you would call a movie fanatic. Lately I've been thinking about movies I saw as a kid and even made-for-tv movies I really enjoyed. Here are a couple to see if you've ever seen them.

(1) The Ultimate Lie - starring Kristin Davis who plays a spoiled young rich girl who rebels against her parents by becoming a call girl; however, one night she arrives at a hotel for a "rendezvous" with a client and discovers to her horror that the client is none other than her father. Yes total Lifetime movie... so unable to find now.

(2) The Quest - starring Henry Thomas (from E.T.) who plays a U.S. orphan who with the help of his girlfriend explore the aboriginal legend of a lake monster in Australia.

(3) Deadly Friend - starring Kristy Swanson and Matthew Laborteaux (the cutie from Little House in the Praire) is about Paul who is a new kid in town with a robot named "BB". He befriends Samantha and the three of them have a lot of good times together. That is, until Samantha's abusive father throws her down some stairs and kills her. In an effort to save her life, Paul implants BB's computer brain into Samantha's human brain.

(4) Fortress - with Rachel Ward is about an Australian school teacher and her students are kidnapped by masked men. She and the children fight for their lives and try to escape from their captors. This movie use to creep me out big time as a kid.

(5) Square Dance - with Winona Ryder and Rob Lowe. Gemma is 13 years old and lives with her grandpa in the country, she has for many years. One day her mother shows up, and wants to take Gemma to the city. Her mother is married now, and can provide for Gemma. Gemma goes with her mother. In the city she gets to know Rory, a mentally retarded boy. They play together, imagining that they are married.

I have about 40 right now that I'm trying to get my hands on. Do you all remember these?

CATCHIN' UP

Sorry I haven't posted but I've been busy with this and that.

I would like to say I am proud of Britney's come back and finally taking it as she should. I wasn't sure if this would all help her but she did a great job on "How I Met Your Mother", which you can now view off of CBS's website.

BTW, when will Ugly Betty come back? I miss that show. Its great in case you have never seen it.

Could you believe Demi Moore uses leeches as a beauty secret? Whats that about?

Way to go to Chelsea Clinton who told that student (who asked about the Monica incidents) it was really none of their business.

So now I'm caught up and a regular post will be seen tomorrow.

DON'T BOTHER TO KNOCK

I have been so exhausted this week and I've had a lot of sleep. I unfortunately am working today unlike more than 3/4 of America who are off during this Good Friday. If I don't have some time off and sleep in I'm going to go insane. My vision via my contacts has been kind of blurry so I'm not sure if I need to switch them out or whats going on; however it did make driving to work kind of fun this morning.

On a separate note I've been wanting to get something off my chest but have decided to discuss it with my boyfriend before posting so now I take it back. I'll post next week on this subject. I will share with you that I got tickets for the True Colors Tour (center section row B--excellent!) and I'm so excited about seeing Andy Bell again. I went last year and it was awesome but we'll see how it goes this year. The line up this year is Cyndi Lauper (of course), the B-52s, Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, Andy Bell of Erasure (WOOAH!), Wanda Sykes, Lili Haydn and host Carson Hessley (or whatever). I can't believe I got such awesome seats and I'm so looking forward to it even though it is in June. The way time has been flying it'll be soon enough.

Have a great day off everyone and enjoy your Easter weekend.

OH HAPPY DAY!

Its a beautiful day here in Houston today. The sun is a shining bright, the sky is a sparkling blue (I almost feel like I should bust out in a song & dance) and its around sixty degrees. Its just perfect.

When I get down to blogging I always forget about what I was going to write about the night before when I thought about it and of course now I no feeling for it whatsoever and so I apologize.

I've been between crazy-busy here at work to not at all and I'm trying to stick to my diet/exercise regime but weather/out of town guests put a dent in that and am getting back to it. Just doing all that has affected me and has made me a bit more crazier (if thats possible).

DREARY, DISMAL DAY

The main reason I went with Naked `n Exposed as a title for my blog was because I wanted to be just that with the way I feel and what I am thinking. Now whether or not I accomplish that will remain to be seen. I guess in some way I am since I am expressing what I'm thinking however; it may not be as deep as something else going on.

The weather outside is gloomy and its cast a feeling of doom over me. I feel like I can't do anything right or the way I have projected for myself through my own goals. I feel like I have no time left to get anything that I really want to accomplish actually completed.

I guess I don't have anything positive to say today. Dreary and quite dismal day.

CUSTOMER SERVICE SUCKS!?

Scenario 1: Last night an old friend of mine and her boyfriend arrived from Dallas to stay with me for a couple days while they deal with some personal business. I picked them up and took them home and we caught up for a bit. I started getting a bit hungry because I've been on the Atkins Diet and so I wanted to see what their plans for dinner were. They didn't have any nor did they have any money on them until tomorrow so I bought them Jack in the Box while I took some take out from a Sushi restaurant. My order alone was $20 and I specified to the girl that I wanted seaweed wrapped smoked salmon, sour cream and cucumber. When we were at home and get ready to watch UNREST I realized they had put white rice in it, which is against my diet but given I'd spent $20 on a meal I decided to eat it as it was. I don't understand what was so wrong about that?

Scenario 2: Yesterday I was at my boyfriend's place and he had just arrived from the grocery store. He started telling me about how rude the cashier was and that he had attempted to use a coupon supplied by the store and she just said it wouldn't scan. As he was leaving she started moving the revolving bag holder for the next customer while he was still trying to get his bags from the guard. (This bitch is lucky I wasn't there cause I would of read the hooker like a book)

Scenario 3: My friend staying with me went to the hospital she gets treatments here in Houston for cancer and while there was trying to get a certain task done. The receptionist some bitchy fag was rude and short (when it came to his talking). He made her do all this extra running around when he could of just made a phone call and when she arrived where she was trying to reach she was told he had called. I told her to go back and read that motherfucker. He's an employee of an establishment that treats sick people who have cancer and he's got to talk to them this way like they need something else to add to their plate? She said she was.

In all I know we all have our bad days. I know I do but when a customer comes in I try to be as courteous as I can be (of course I'm in management now) and of course if its someone I like I enjoy it more. Where has customer service gone these days?

THOUGHTS OVER THE WEEKEND

You know how when you look in the mirror everything is actually the other way around? (if that makes sense)

I'll explain with a story---I was out with my best friend. We were hanging out at a country bar we use to like to frequent because we dominated the juke box, there were pool tables and the drinks were killer! It was fabulous back in the day. Anyhow it was Halloween and my best friend dressed as a hippie. He had the words Peace & Love written on his cheek, etc. We had been drinking a while and I was finally focusing on his face when I realized the writing was backwards. He couldn't believe it and went to look himself. He came back scowling at me that I was a liar and it was the correct way. I told him you know when you look in the mirror its backwards.

So my question is... the way we see ourselves in the mirror is actually a reflection of ourselves but yet backwards. Does it mean some of us think we're more good-looking then we are or we are not as good-looking as we actually do seem to the world?

YOU'RE SO OUTRAGEOUS!

"Anna-Anna-Anna-Anna-Anna Nicole... you're so outrageous!"

Yesterday I finally received the Anna Nicole Smith Show: First Season on DVD that I bought off of eBay. (I remember seeing it at Target about a year and a half ago for only $5---I paid about $12 now) I'd never seen the show before and to be honest I didn't have that great of an impression on Miss Vicki. My main thing with her was comparing herself with Marilyn Monroe (who I just adore) and I thought she was far from Marilyn. I've read more about her today (since I couldn't get her out of my head last night and in my dreams) and realized she was compared to Jayne Mansfield when she started the Guess? jeans spokesperson years. I could see that.

Anyhow I really enjoyed the 2 (of 3) discs I saw yesterday. I realized they really made her crazy by combing all the crazy things she said but if you pay attention she sounds like any other "typical-categorized" person. Yeah thats a nice way of saying it. I thought it was pretty cool wiht everything she'd accomplished and as I watched the show I had to keep reminding myself that both her son Daniel and ANS were both deceased. Very sad when you think about it and watch the show. You hear what she wants to do and accomplish, etc and then we know how much time she actually had. I think its also very sad with her daughter growing up with neither Anna and Daniel.

I must say this... I HATED Bobby Trendy. He is the typical kind of fag queenie bullshit that gives us in the gay community a bad name (write that one Jon Bon Jovi!). I couldn't stand him from the beginning when his only word in this vocabulary was "luxurious" and a couple episodes later he graced us with a new word. I figured it was the word of the week and he is pure proof that Hooked On Phonics eventually works. I didn't want to bother with a picture of anything else of BT---aka Basically Trash. He's just some queen with a glue gun who is so insecure with his being he instantly got protective of anything he said or did. What a total loser!

Anyhow... I've gained some respect for Anna Nicole and I wish she could of been saved. It seems so many are "going" that way (last month or so with Heath Leger's death) with mixing all these prescriptions. I can't believe its been over a year since Anna died.

This post is for you little Ann....

CARRIE'S CRAZINESS

Lately I've been watching old episodes of Sex and the City (one of the many shows I really loved and followed while it was still going on) and kind of thinking Carrie Bradshaw was a bit crazy and over analytical towards John aka BIG.

I myself have been in a great relationship for over six-months and its drama-free & perfect. He compliments me and expresses his feelings, and we talk just to make sure we're doing well and getting what we need.

Back to crazy, I know first of all it was a show but she spent doing a lot of what she should of been doing with BIG with the girls. You know the girls---Samantha, Charlotte & Miranda.. hell even Stanford. If she would of told him exactly how she felt instead of throwing fit after fit and making herself sick with what he was and was not saying and giving her within their many attempts at having a relationship. I know it took many years and finally BIG himself breaking down the barrier of his exposing his vulnerable side, but it finally seemed to happen on the last episode of SATC the HBO series.

I'm so waiting for the movie and I hope it does its justice and give us more closure than the last 10 mins tried to shove into.

LITTLE MR NONSENSE

It has been so beautiful the last couple days and with this time change I definitely have time to enjoy my time outside of work. I'm looking forward to activities outside of the office and going to the track for a couple laps. I realize that is why people love to live in Los Angeles and thus the reason everyone is fit and in good moods.

I'm not really sure what I was going to write today and so I decided to just rant and lose myself in my thoughts as I type them down.

I'm a bit upset about what or what if with Obama getting the Democratic nomination to run for President. That is the reason I stay out of politics all together.

I'm a bit upset to hear about the UC Student Body President that was murdered by two suspects who are now in custody. Bastards. I believe in an eye for an eye and so I believe they should be put to death and quit filling up the jails. I have a baby sister and I worry about her safety so many states away.

The Mayor of NYC resigned due to his buying of sex. I don't really find that a huge issue but apparently a lot of people did not like him because he was an ass and well a politician's life is all about being the "token person" and posing as so.

Not much going on with Britney Spears. I hear shes releasing her latest single "Break the Ice" video soon. I thought she should of released this one first only because I love the beginning that goes "Its been a while... I know I shouldn't of kept you waiting... but I'm here now!" HOT!!!

Anyhow... that is it for today.

BLONDE OF FREAKISHSTEIN

This weekend I had something weird come over me and I decided to buy 'bleach blonde' hair dye (my hair is dark brown) so I could transform. I guess if I think about it I'll come up with a reason but that is not my reason for my post.

After I had applied my blonde potion I started thinking about Angela Bassett in 'Whats Love Gotta Do With It' and started thinking about my hair falling out due to the shock of changing my hair so drastically. I freaked out since I saw the front part of my hair turn golden I started to wash it off. Its pretty damn blonde but I'm not happy. I look freakish. Maybe its because I'm not use to it but I colored my eyebrows too and now my lashes are dark and I look like I got them painted dark.

I almost called in "ugly" to work today and stay home with attempts to fix my mistake but instead I came in and it wasn't a big deal. My boss tends to say things that aren't very nice but for whatever reason he feel compelled to tell me, which he did.

I'll be going back to the basics later on today. I'm just waiting for the time to come.

MISS JEKYLL-HYDE

About a month ago I was surfing the web and found the website for the Junior High I attended and realized you could email the faculty. I scanned the names since it only had their first initial and last name and noticed my Pre-Algebra teacher from 8th grade was still there. She was by far my favorite teacher and so I thought I would email her.

I received a response by the next week and she remembered me and said I had made her week. She had responded about her room (the same one) and her now boyfriend, etc. and then asked what was going on in my life. I told her the truth that I was gay (and now had a boyfriend who I adored) and was living in Houston. Weeks have passed and no response. I suppose she's homophobic.

I remember when she use to walk up and down the aisles sniffing when she thought someone smelled and she'd point them out. I recall one time I was playing with my hair and she told me to stop and then then commented to everyone in class that she'd never seen a boy play with his hair and that was such a girl thing. Now you wonder why she was even my favorite teacher? I guess despite her crazed ways she was a fun woman plus I ended up being one of her top students.

Anyhow at the end of that year the teacher recommends what "kind" of math you will begin your freshman year. I'd originally signed up and was accepted to this Science Academy for gifted teens but freaked out since I didn't know anyone and withdrew. I enrolled into regular high school and loved it however; her recommendation came through---Extended Algebra A. For those of you that are not familiar you take Ext Algebra A your 9th grade year and Ext Algebra B your 10th grade year. Your parents are the only ones who can cancel out the recommendation but my mother doubted me and said my teacher knew what she was doing (one of the many times my mother held me back). I was and am a whiz when it comes to Math but after those two years of barely thinking and then taking Geometry with a teacher who everyone cheated off of each other, it no way prepared me for Algebra II that I signed up for my Senior year. It was so advanced and there was so many sophomores and juniors in the class that I dropped it and instead left school at 11am. Hell you could definitely not beat that.

Anyhow I hope you understand that one thing set up a trigger of a domino effect that caused thing after thing.

It seems to me more times than ever that I'm barely getting my head on right and am able to think rationally through the bullshit in my life and where whatever happened either really helped me or really did NOT.

Parents & teachers remember this when you're restricting your child!