THESE DREAMS

You know that feeling when you just know and you can not explain it? I get that feeling a lot throughout my day and in my life. Sometimes I just have to let it go and move on or else end up insane.

I know you must think I'm full of it but I'm really being serious. I can think of someone and right then and there they either call me or I run into them. It can be someone I have not seen in years too. I have thought of people I had not seen in years and then days later I find out they died the day I was thinking of them. It creeps me out a lot and sometimes I just hate to think.

(Okay I had two extra paragraphs typed but thanks to laptop technology I click a space bar after it highlighted those two paragraphs when my fat finger touched the pad and poof there goes my two paragraphs of thoughts---FUCK YOU!!! To who.. who knows but I'm pissed. I know mouse-lock is located on the pad but I never use it.)

Anyhow... the other day I was remembering memories of going to the dentist with my second oldest sister who is in her late 30s now. I must of been either 4 or 5 because she was married when I was about 5 or 6. I was so happy I remembered because she moved out of my mother's house shortly after she graduated high school. I remember her wedding and for about ten minutes spending time with her during this event, which someone actually photo'd. She moved away shortly after her marriage to Germany because her husband was in the Army and were in my hometown for a couple years and then moved again to Tennesse and it has been a long time since I saw her. She sent us all (my brother, sisters, neices, nephews and I all keep in touch via email) that she was going to get surgery done for thyroid cancer. This obviously concerned me and so I've been emailing her questions but I get eventual answers. I'm not sure if she doesn't know or if she's just busy. In some sense we're strangers. I am no longer a little boy and any memories of her are slowly turning into shadows that I know will probably fade all together.

This obviously plays in with my thoughts when I remember memories. If I have not mentioned this before my earliest memory was around 3-4 years old. It kind of freaks out my mother when I recall certain things and everyone else doesn't remember so I'm stuck looking like a fool.

Anyhow.. had to share, had to get it out.